Friday, February 4, 2011

Don't lose your grip


I have been blessed. That is all I can say when I look back on my time in England. I am so blessed for that opoortunity I had. Even more I am so blessed for what I have going on in my life right now. It has almost been two months since I have been back, and everyday I am wishing for my experience abroad to still be happening. I miss my life there and I miss who I was and what I was able to do there. The adventure is not over yet though. I have decided to continue attending school in Northern IL close to Chicago. This was a very last minute decision, but I knew I had to finish what I started. I am working and building up towards the life I dream. I am not doing this for a storm to blow me down. This desision to come back to NCC was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I decided to come back the day before classes started. I had not talked to my sister about it, she is the person I have always been closest too. We have always shared every little secret and never been separated. Doing this and leaving her was so hard. I cry thinking about it now. I can't stand knowing that I might have ruined any little thing for her. We have goals together and we share dreams. I know though to make these goals stronger and to reach higher we had to separate sometime in our lives. It was time this time. It was time that we found ourselves without each other. I knew who I was with my sister. That is waht the England trip did for me. It helped me find myself with her. It gave me the secruity to know my future with her and us to find our true interests in life. Those we did find and that was traveling and seeing the world. Seeing the creativity that the world offers and what we can do with that. K and K Closet is ours. We will make it world known, and it will a success, not only for our sake but for others. This business is not for us. One of our main goals is for this business to encourage our friends to help women and even men to have confidence in themselves, not only by the way they dress but the way they choose to live their life.

Kaitlyn and I have seen and experienced so much in our life and we are only 20. I know there is so much more in store for us. Ever since we have graduated high school each chapter has unfolded to remarkable life changing stories. These have actually been the hardest times in my life. I have been lost so many times and made so many mistakes I can't even count them now.

Now that I have been on my own without my sister in Chicago. I have struggled learning how to live for me. I have always had her by my side. We shared everything from money to clothes and like I said earlier all our dreams. No one could separate us or break our boundary. I have been 5 weeks without seeing her face. I can't believe this has happened. I have not seen her at all and I have not talked to her near enough. I know this is good for me. It is my adventure that God has had planned. I have decided to continue falling God's lead. I heard his call to come back here, and I listened this time. I put all my worries to God. Like Philippians 4:6-7 states: Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Another love of mine is country music. Each song describes and my life perfectly from love relationships to moving on. I turned on the song Mountains by Lonestar and started listening to it. These lyrics are so true. This what I am experiencing now that I have moved away to live on my own in Chicago. I know that the city is not where I want to be for the rest of my life. I will oneday soon move back to the country. That is what I have found out about myself since I have been gone. I fall in love with the simple things in life that a country field with cows grazing or a waterfall out in the woods and just a small old town full of happy families. Those indeed are my favorite things in life. I enjoy the city and all it has to offer. I love that I have had and am having the experience to live in Chicago and London. They have changed my life for the better and made me strive for my dreams even more! These are the lyrics to "Mountains"

"There are times in life when you gotta crawl,Lose your grip, trip and fallWhen you can't lean on no one else,That's when you find yourselfI've been around and I've noticed thatWalk-in's easy when the road is flatThem danged 'ole hills will get you every time.Yeah, the good Lord gave us mountains so we could learn how to climbThis world ain't fairIt can knock you on your buttYou can just lie there or you can get back upYou gotta get back up"

Now this is what I am doing after I write this blog. I am getting back up! I am here for many reasona and I'm not going to miss any sign that God has put in my path. I found many of the signs while I was in England. I found them when I was home for two weeks in TN and now I am searching for them each day I am living up here in Chicago. It's my time to fly.