Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Train Thoughts

Since I have this new Internship I am going to Chicago everyother day. I don't think I made that very clear in the last post. I just wrote down all my thoughts and feelings that I get when I am walking the city alone or riding in a cab or on the train. My mind is about to go cRazY. I've never felt like this before. When Kaitlyn was with me it always felt like I was on vacation. The joys of having a twin is always having your best friend with you so everything is fun. Well, now that I am having this time alone I get so messed up. Those might not be the words to explain how I get but that's all I can come up with at this time. Let me just start with the Internship, I absoletly love working with the Double Stitch Twins. They are so wonderful and so funny to work with. Check out their website sometime. They are amazing women, and I really look up to them and hopefully one day will be doing something similar with my business. Working with them I have realized new paths I can take with my own business. There are many creative jobs that people don't even think about doing, and I think I will fall right into one of those. I'm just starting now with all my hard work. Well, their crochet patterns are going to be located in over 1000 Michael stores around the U.S. So start looking for them and you know I'm their Intern!! They also have books in the Borders that you can buy. They are so motivating. My first day on the job we went to a school in south Chicago. If you are not familiar with south Chicago (I'm not too familiar with it) but what I know and have heard is that it is not the best part of Chicago to be in. We went to this high school, it was called a leadership connection academy and they spoke about their career. The students in the room were jrs and seniors who do not have the same priviliages that I do. Some may have been involved in drugs or gangs or anything. I have always seen movies about these places on movies, but never thought I would experience being here. It was very interesting. I saw so much potential in some of these kids, and I hope they learned something from the twins. Another speaker who spoke was the women who was incharge of all court systems in Chicago. She was great too and encouraged me too. I felt like I needed to hear these speakers as much as the students in the room did. Erika one of the double stitch twins told me that one thing she loves about going to speak at events is that she always learns something from the other speakers and that is so so true. One goal of mine is to one day make it to the point that I can be a speaker like these people. The women of the court system had a remarkable story. She is orginally from Lousiana. No one in her family had attended college before and she moved to Chicago. She wasn't afraid to run for court system. Since she did not grow up there she did not know the rules or have the connections, but that was good for her. She said since she did not know this is enabled her to take action anyway she could think of. Her hard work paid off and she became the first woman in Chicago Court System and now runs it. So all in all even though this internship just started I am learning and attaining so much. It's not as easy as it seems though. If you have read my previous blogs about my train ride experiences you know I have been struggling with this atomosphere alot. The train rides are lonely. I just put my ipod in and enjoy the 30 to 45 minute ride. The next few blogs I will write will be my thoughts I have on the train that is why I titled this one Train Thoughts. This world is completely different than I am used too. Don't get me wrong I have traveled many places and rode subways and trains in the city but never have I done it alone. So far I don't think there is one time I haven't shed a tear going and walking around the city alone. I told my dad today after college I'm definately moving out of the city and immediately to the country. Oh it will happen but I love challenge and adventure so this is still a chapter of my life I can't leave empty and I am taking each adventure. Let me tell you about the last two experiences I had in the city. Starting with Sunday. Well Sunday in the city is very quiet, unlike other days where there are a ton of people walking around. I got off the train, and went out to the streets and I was seriously the only one out. The tall buildings and me on a Sunday morning. It was like I ruled the city was I quickly walked down the streets. One block, two blocks, three, four five six, I was practically running by this time. I was just like something feels wrong here. I am the only one out. I guess I just started freaking out for no reason because nothing happened. I decided I was going to go to the chapel church since it was about 8:30 and that's when service starts ( I keep saying over and over somehow I always get led to church, well I did that day too) So I walked in circles around these blocks trying to find this place. I knew it was around but couldnt find it. I looked up at the buildings to see if I could find the temple, didn't see that either....man oh man, I'm lost again I thought and me being me I started to freak out again. When all else fails you call your mom, even if she is 8 hours away. She always tries to help somehow. When I got off the phone with her I decided I better get a taxi, since I can't find it or I'm going to be late. I got the taxi. This driver was so funny and nice. I was one block away from this place. I was so so close it was funny. He laughed and wished each other good days and I went to church. It's always a great service there. Sunday ended up being a pretty good day. Disappointment always can be turned around I have seen it happen to many times to deny that. Today was a different story though. I got off the train. I knew where I was going this time, since I have been there before, so I thought I would walk a little and take a taxi the rest of the way, because my experience with taxis have been pretty good ( another thought of mine, when you're lost just get in a taxi and you'll end up there) this advice has worked everytime but today. Today was the day I cried more than I ever have while I was in the city. I got the taxi told him the street and name of the place I was going. He was so rude to me. First off he lied to me and told me he couldn't turn right down the street I needed to go down and needed a better address. I was just like what else can I say. Well then I started freaking out like I do...lol. ( I'm going to get over that soon, next time I go to Chicago I bet I won't freak out at all!) He pulled over to the side of the rode and said "Get out" in a very angry tone. "OMG!" what was I to do. freaking out already I paid him and quickly quickly got out with tears running down my face. I'm all alone in a strange place and it was time for me to be there! I already had a pretty sad train ride so this made it worse for me. And like I said earlier, when all else fails call mamma. So I did just hoping she would answer since I knew she was in school at that time. She did and I just balled to her. I could barely breathe. Lucky her got everything out of me and helped me get the full address for the place I was supposed to be so I could tell the next taxi driver better directions. I over reacted a little, but that's all I could think of doing. I know I am stronger than to just give up and freak out so much, but it's taking me time and I know I can do it. I am starting to feel successful in my life and I'm so ready for anything and any challenge to come my way because I will conquer it! In the end after my taxi experience I finally got there and had a really good time. I'm just hoping nothing like that will ever happen again. Train thoughts will continue for awhile and when I finally get to go home to Tennessee for Easter I throw my hands up and say halleiugh...lol :)

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